Until the Last Dog Dies by Robert Guffey

Author:Robert Guffey
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Night Shade Books
Published: 2017-10-19T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 11

Keep the Ravioli in Orbit

(October 3, 2014)

Eddie strolled out on stage at ten o’clock on the dot and introduced me to a giant room filled with wild teenagers. I was so nervous I thought I might stumble and fall on my face before I even reached center stage. Part of my nervousness stemmed from the fact that I had decided to follow through with my original game plan. What else could I do?

Hanging on the wall behind me were a series of American flags of various colors—magenta, orange, black and blue, pink paisley, etc.—with dripping, messy stripes that merged into one another like wet paint. Set up in front of the flags were the drums, the keyboards, and the upright bass. The last time I had checked, which was only a couple of minutes before, Mike was still comatose in the bathroom. I was beginning to think that I would not only have to go over the standard twenty-minute mark, I’d have to do the whole god damn show. However, Esthra had assured me she could sing the songs if Mike wasn’t able to go on, though she preferred not to. She didn’t know if her voice was strong enough to carry a whole show, but if worse came to worse she said it would have to do.

The lights above the stage were the brightest fuckin’ lights I’d ever seen. Apparently Eddie had decided to shoot a video of the band’s performance which required the most intense illumination this side of the sun itself. I couldn’t imagine how the band could play under them for more than a few minutes. I could already feel myself beginning to sweat. The lights were shining directly into my eyes. I couldn’t see a damn thing. I found myself squinting as if I was at the beach. All I could hear was the incessant shouting. Of course, I couldn’t start my act until these stupid bastards decided to calm down. I raised my hands, then lowered them slowly, trying to clue them in on the fact that it was time to begin the show. For a long time I couldn’t figure out what the hell it was they were screaming. At first it sounded like “Extra! Extra!” but that made no sense. Then I realized they were shouting Esthra’s name.

I said, “Excuse me, I’m only going to say this once, shut the fuck up or I’m going to have to kick all your asses at once.”

Suddenly a beer bottle erupted out of the brightness and whizzed past my ear, slamming into one of the cymbals behind me, creating an interesting musical sound for a single moment. I said, “Hey, the next beer bottle better be a Heineken or I’m leaving!”

A Heineken arced over my head and smashed into something behind me, I don’t know what, sending little glass shards skittering across the stage. I was just about to abandon ship, narrowly avoiding two more bottles and a full Coca-Cola can, when Esthra came striding out onto stage.

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